Did 3 miles this morning!
Today, something really good happened. I had a long talk with Lisa during our walk about the things that have been bothering me. She got me to remember a time when I had no limits. A time when I did things without a care in the world. Where I was my own person and did whatever I wanted, said whatever I wanted, but always kept it level, never going overboard. That was who I always had been. Back when we got our new pastor at our church, and he added himself to my facebook page, I had to practically cut that old me out and turn into this new "filtered" me. I used to talk really great, carry on these sexy conversations with women. Comment on women's pictures, but not in a perverted way, but a way that made them really want to know who I was. That's how I became friends with models. I had a way with my words that just captivated them. I wasn't worried about who was looking or who was reading, or what ppl would think. I just did what I did because that's who I was. Anyway, when the pastor was added to my facebook, I had to stop doing that...well because he was a pastor. I didn't want him seeing my posts to women and comments, because you know on FB you have no damn privacy. They plaster everything you do and say all over everyone's News Feed. Anyway, even though he's not on my page anymore due to all the stuff that happened with him and our church, I never reverted back to being who I was. I just stayed that way. That actually hurt me because it made me more vulnerable to feelings, which is what I've been fighting with. When Cornelia came over here and I met her, nothing happened and she just ran away back home. That really hurt me. Then this stuff with Dyanna, how she seems to not really care about me or anything else, and is so busy trying to keep attention with all the other guys on her fb page, that also hurt me. I was just letting myself get hurt by these things and it was screwing with my focus and really bringing me down. Well that is what Lisa reminded me of. So when we got home and talked more about it, I felt AMAZING! I remembered who I used to be and realized that I hadn't been that person in a long time now. That finally got me out of it all. This is what FYRESCAPE is all about. It's not just about physical health, it's about mental health as well. Becoming better in every way! That is why I entitled this blog with the "Overkill" logo as well, because that is truly what I did. To celebrate, the rest of the day was to just having fun! I took Lisa to town and we bought some hamburgers at Lotaburger. OMG it was soooooo good!!!! That was literally my first hamburger in Who Knows how long. Oh man it was good and soo tasty!! Then, I bought me a movie at Hastings. A scary one that I'd been waiting for since last year, called "The Babadook." After that we came home and Lisa went to class. I changed things on my FB page and started posting like I used to, no longer letting things get to me like they had been. I felt so great and so refreshed! I'm finally back to who I was!!! Finally.
While Lisa was at class, I watched 'Fast Five'. I also planted another tree outside, one that my grandpa and grandma gave me. It's supposed to be a pretty tree that has flowers on it. Apparently it won't bloom until around July, but it blooms all the way into fall, so it's supposed to be pretty nice. I planted it in a good spot. It was so nice outside too because this afternoon it got cloudy and really cool outside. It's been hot lately, so this coolness was great. My dogs loved it. I played with Cody out there. I was whacking this rubber toy so he could fetch it. It was so funny, I hit that thing perfectly to where when Jayde was running by (she's a little Chihuahua) it slammed right into her side, knocking her over to where she tumbled hahaha. That was so cute! It didn't hurt her, just knocked her off her feet while she was running over to Lisa's car as she pulled into the driveway. It was funny!
Afterwards, we watched 'The Babadook'. Oh man, that movie was/is CREEPY!! I really enjoyed it. I'm not in the business of buying movies before I've actually seen them, but this one I had a lot of faith in that it was going to be good and I was right! Definitely not a waste of money. It got me scared! I would recommend it to anyone!
Finished off the day by going up to the casino. I lost $20. Almost lost 40, but I got twenty of it back, then we left. I wasn't about to put more money back into that bitch casino. Oh man, really sad thing was that we didn't get there until late. We left, it was almost 11pm. There was this old grandma there. She was so old and so tired looking. Her dumbass stupid ungrateful shit kids or grandkids had this poor old woman there and while they left her sitting at a slot machine, which she didn't even know how to play, they took her money and ran off to play the slots. Didn't look like any of them were even winning so they kept coming back to her and she would give them more money, then they'd all run off and leave her there. She looked like she didn't even know how to play or what to do. Lisa and I felt so bad for her. She was just staring over at us while we played. She had a walker and everything. She was so old. I swear, that woman should have been home in bed sleeping, not at the casino. I mean, it was freakin 10:45 at night, why the hell would you bring you poor old grandma to the casino. Omg that made both Lisa and I really mad. On our way home, Lisa just started crying. She felt so bad about how that lady was treated by her stupid grandkids or whoever they were. She felt really bad and just broke down. She said she would never treat her grandma that way. Neither of us would. You need to have respect for your grandparents. It's disgusting how some ppl treat old ppl just because they get money and these young ppl are too damn lazy to go out and get a job, they just take from their grandma's and grandpa's and go off spending their money. That pisses me off!!!
RESPECT YOUR GRANDPARENTS, PARENTS, AND ALL THOSE WHO HAVE EVER HELPED YOU OR SUPPORTED YOU! BE THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WOULD TELL OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT IN PRAISE. NEVER NEGLECT OR STEAL.
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