Day Three Hundred Sixty Five - Last Day of Fyrescape

"TODAY IS THE GREATEST...DAY I'VE EVER KNOWN..." -Smashing Pumpkins

WOW!!! One whole year of Fyrescape!!! This is Amazing ;}
Last year on this day, I went to the hospital and the nurse there told me how bad my weight was. I thought I had a hernia, but after a visit with the surgeon, he told me that it was my umbilical cord, from when I was a baby. Some nonsense like that. Basically, normal, but that if it ever got bad or painful, then to come on back and they'd fix it up no problem.
The doc was more worried about my weight, so she urged me to get on my diet and start exercising. Knowing I wasn't going to die, that really boosted me up. I decided to take my life seriously and stop screwing around. All those problems I had over the years since working at Walmart in 2003, they had to stop! I needed to be a better person both physically and mentally. My name is Fyre, or that's what I'm known by. I've had this word for years now. I just came up with it one day, but I never knew what I could use if for. That word was, Fyrescape.
On my way home from the hospital, I thought about this new Journey I was going to be on. Then the next day, April 29, 2014, I decided to call it, Fyrescape: My Journey Back to Excellence! Now, it's been one full year and I'm happy to say that I've made a huge change in my body. My blood pressure went down, which was what the doc was worried about. My weight went down. My body feels great! Another thing, my mental health is so much more better than it used to be. I've learned so much over this year through my experiences and things I've figured out thru past experiences. My best friend, Lisa, has been there and helped me out thru it all. Most importantly, though, I am who I am now because of God. He has taught me everything I know now and has put me in so many experiences where I learned so much. All I am or ever will be is because of God, my Heavenly Father, Our Heavenly Father. I would not be anything without Him. I shall honor Him everyday of my life and do my best to teach those around me to honor Him as well.
The things I've leaned, I will apply to my everyday life! I will be that unicorn that I know I can be. I will never let disruptive things rule my life and cause me to lose my focus. I will cherish those who support me and push me to be better, and I will let go of those who use me for their benefit. I will stand up for what I believe in and live my life the way I want to, and not do things just because it pleases others. I will focus on my exercising everyday and never let that go! I will go back to work this year and work everyday for as long as I'm able. I'm planning on getting my CDL license, but I may have to work to save up the money to take the class. Either way, I'm going to do it all my own. I won't rely on anyone to fix my problems, or help me fix my problems. I'm going to do everything on my own because I am my own man and I don't need ppl helping me. I'm going to help others when I can and never be selfish, like so many I have met, though I will never let myself get taken advantage of. I will focus on being physically fit and never letting that go. The rest of my life will be a life of fitness and better health. I will never neglect my body, as it's the only one I'll ever have and I need it to get thru this life. I'll always respect myself and others. I will never look down at myself and see disappointment. I'll be positive about everything and I won't tear myself down. I am a Unicorn and unicorns Never feel disappointed or negative about themselves or others. They are on their own pane, in their own world every moment of their existence. That is who I am and forever will be!

Today I did my 3 miles! I did some running.
Finished my morning workout with Bowflex, doing 2 sets of each exercise.
I followed that up with my Ab lounge workout.
Then did 22 minutes on the exercise bike!

I think the rest of the day, I'm going to take it easy. I'm feeling a slight discomfort in my stomach. I don't know what it is. Lisa thinks I may have pulled something, but I don't know. Maybe she's right. Just to be safe, I'm going to call off my workout the rest of the day. It's been a great few days of workouts and I'm very proud of the progress I've made over this entire year. I will never forget this Amazing year of Fyrescape. This year has really made a BIG HUGE DIFFERENCE in my life and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. Because of this year of Fyrescape, my life will never be the same, it will be better. I won't be shy about myself anymore because I bettered myself over this year. I'm now a Unicorn. It won't be long before I'm a Mystic Dragon. That is what I'll be working towards tomorrow, April 29, 2015. My Fyrescape 2 begins. I'm looking forward to new challenges, but with them being faced with all the new things I have learned during this year. So much I'm excited for. This will be a great time in my life, I can feel it. It won't be easy, but it will be something to remember, Forever!!

I have become a Unicorn!
Tomorrow, I Journey to Mystic Dragon!
My 3rd and final year of Fyrescape, is my final Journey to EXCELLENCE!!!

Thank You so much to all who have read my blogs and kept up with the progress in my life! Now, join me on Fyrescape 2, starting tomorrow! Goodnight ;}

Day Three Hundred Sixty Four - Overkill Day Thirty Six

Did my 3 miles today! Added some running in there too.
Came home and did my outside weights workout. My soreness is mostly gone and I really feel like my legs are getting stronger. I did 3 sets of deadlifts, followed by 2 sets of 100lb curls, and 2 sets of bench presses. Then I finished it off with jump rope. I have to be really careful when I do my jump rope. My right knee is bad so if I jump wrong or put my weight on it wrong, I'll feel this sharp pain in my knee and after that, it'll hurt a while. I have to be really careful with it. My right knee is just no good. I need to strengthen it up, but I don't know how. It's just really tough because it's my knee and I use it everyday lol.

This evening I did my DDP yoga workout, followed by my 40 crunches, cross leglifts, elevated leg swings, pushups, and my dumbbell workout! Oh man I am tired. I was sweatin so bad, it was insane, but my body feels great!! When I really push myself, I feel so accomplished and feel like I really got somewhere. Everyday I feel like my chest is getting leaner and my arms are growing muscles that I never thought I'd have. It's really cool! My neck and jawline look great. I can really see a difference in myself and I never want to lose that.

Tomorrow is that last day of Fyrescape....

Day Three Hundred Sixty Three - Overkill Day Thirty Five

Today was supposed to be my rest day, but since I took it already on Friday, I went ahead and continued my 'Overkill' today. I've only got 2 more days left in Fyrescape after today. Crazy!

Started the day off with my 3 miles!
Came home and did my Bowflex workout. 2 sets of every exercise. I'm feeling sore from yesterday. That's what happens when I don't do my weights workout for a while. When I pick it back up after a week or so, then I get sore. That's how I'm feeling today.
I followed my Bowflex with my Ab lounge workout, then I did 22 minutes on the exercise bike. I am feeling really great!

Finished my gallon of water today!

This evening I did my DDP yoga workout, followed by my crunches, cross leglifts, elevated leg swings, pushups, and finished it of with my dumbbell workout! Did serious Overkill today!

It feels really good after cutting those two from my life. Takes away some of the stress I had. I do feel bad that things had to end that way, but they brought it on. I don't want that kind of crap in my life. If it's not there supporting my life or making things better for me, I don't want it anywhere near me. That's how it's supposed to be. Don't ever let anyone bring you down. Don't stay loyal to ppl just because you want to do the "right thing" or because you don't want to hurt their feelings. No Way! Always do what is best for You in Your life. They have their own lives and they don't need yours to help them live theirs. Beware of ppl who use you. Some of them will hide behind a friendly face and actually claim to be your friend, but behind those smiles and sweet talk, they're sucking the life out of you. Don't ever let that happen. Fight until you can't fight anymore, then be fought for. If they're not willing to fight for you, then you need to realize that they weren't willing to give you what you gave them...then let them go! That's the brutal truth of it all.

Day Three Hundred Sixty Two - Overkill Day Thirty Four

Did my 3 miles this morning!
Came back and finished it off with my outside weights workout. 3 sets of deadlifts, 2 sets of 100lb curls, 2 sets of bench pressing. Then some jump rope.

Finished my gallon of water today!

This evening I did my DDP yoga workout, followed by crunches, cross leglifts, elevated leg swings, pushups, and finally my dumbbell workout. My body feels amazing! Great to get back to all this once again.

I also did another thing today. I realized that I needed to cut some dead weight out of my life. I'm going to be that unicorn from now on! I'm not going to let ppl drag me down and treat me like shit. If they do, they don't belong in my world. I deleted Cornelia and Dyanna from my Facebook, and from every where else on the internet that they were connected to me. I just don't want that in my life anymore. Cornelia was never a friend. She was just an acquaintance. Months would go by before I heard from her. She never talked to me, never even took the time to say hi. Then we meet in person, she's just weird and then runs away from me without even saying goodbye. Now she's back to being distant again. Well screw that, she's GONE!!!
Dyanna, well that is a no brainer. I refuse to be her little toy to play with on the weekends. She obviously doesn't like me enough to acknowledge me in front of her friends on FB. She'd rather flirt with men from all over, then give up anything for one person. She ignored me all day today, as well. Didn't say a word except 'Like' my posts. She didn't say she was "sorry" for not taking me to the movie yesterday. Just went on with life like nothing was wrong. See that's the only type of women I meet these days. Ungrateful, selfish women. I'm just a big ego boost for them. NO MORE!!!
Now, they're both gone from my life. I'm sure they won't understand why I did what I did because they're always too concerned about themselves but I don't care. Those two women have done nothing but disrupt my life this whole month, causing me to lose my focus on everything. I'm done with being used for their purposes. This is My life and I decide how it is going to be run from now on. No more BS for me! I am Fyre and I will forever be my own unicorn!

Day Three Hundred Sixty One - REST DAY

Ok, I did not plan on this being a Rest Day, but it just turned out that way. I did not mention this in my blog yesterday, but Lisa's car broke down on her way to work yesterday afternoon. I checked it out and her timing belt broke :( Freakin SH&T!!!!! In other words, her car is DEAD!! Dammit. I was so pissed off. So that really set us back. I was messing with that thing all day yesterday, which is why I didn't do anymore exercise after my 3 miles. I swear, this month has been terrible. For one, I've been so distracted by Dyanna and my other friend, Cornelia. Both of which seem to not appreciate me at all. Dyanna is flirting with tons of guys on her FB page. Cornelia travels over here at the beginning of this month and acts weird, then won't even meet me by herself, then after we finally meet, she just gets distant. She's here the entire day after and doesn't leave until the following day. Not once does she call or text me to hang out or do anything with her, given that may have been the only time I ever get to see her. Nothing! Then she runs off back to Arizona and I don't hear from her at all. I write her on FB and she doesn't write back. Just presses the 'Like' button. It pisses me off. I thought she and I were friends...but I guess I was wrong. She doesn't give a shit about me. She only likes me when it's convenient for her. When she's going thru shit in her life, then all the sudden I'm the best friend. It's BS! What about my needs and my problems? Sux. Then, Dyanna won't even acknowledge me on her damn FB page. I take her out and spend all the damn money I have on her, and she just hides me on her fb page because she doesn't want all the guys she's flirting with to run away from her. How fudged up is that?! So screw it, I need to let both of these two go. They are doing nothing but disrupting my life and causing my focus to go to shit! And now, Lisa's car is out. Oh my gosh it's just so stressful right now.

So today, we paid bills then just went out and had some fun to get my mind off things. We watched 'Cinderella' then we ate at Fuddruckers afterwards. Yes, I treated myself out to a yummy hamburger because I felt I deserved it. Now the AWESOME thing about today, when Lees and I went to the restaurant, we saw my aunt and my cousin there. My aunt told me that I looked really good. I felt so great hearing that! I was so happy, knowing that all my hard work is paying off and being noticed. Back before mid January, I was just walking, but since then I've been doubling my workouts by doing weights outside and then Bowflex and DDP yoga. I started that in March and have been busting my ass since. I've done it throughout the month, but that whole thing with Cornelia and Dyanna has really cause me to lose my solid stride of doing it daily. Believe me, that's going to change!

Anyway, so the rest of the day was Awesome! I took Lisa to work. Dyanna and I were supposed to go to a movie, but she ignored me all day. Shocking! Yeah right, I'm pretty used to her weirdness by now. I'm sure she was too busy flirting with other guys to remember that we had a movie date. Or, she was expecting me to pay for it like always. Shit no, because technically she is the one who asked me because she brought it up. She doesn't want to pay and just be a cheapskate, fine! I don't give a crap anymore. I'm not even dating her and yet she expects me to do everything. It doesn't work that way, honey! At least not until AFTER we actually start dating, which we were not.

So yeah that was my day! It was a good day, honestly. I don't know what I'm going to do about Lisa's car. That is a pretty big problem, but I'm sure I'll come up with a solution in the coming days.

Day Three Hundred Sixty

Did 3 miles this morning!

Today I learned another really important thing that I'm going to apply to my life. As I've said, this thing I've been on all year that I call, Fyrescape, it's a Journey Back to Excellence. Not only is it a Journey to physical health, but mental health as well. Over the years I've had so many problems, mentally. I don't mean anything severe, but things like letting certain things get me down, being overly paranoid and letting that affect my life in a way that it becomes disruptive, causing me to lose my focus on things. That is what I mean by that. Back in 2003 I worked at Walmart. When I lost my job at the end of 2006, caused by the same exact guy who hated me and got me to quit in 2001, that really brought me down. I was so angry and defeated. Instead of getting back to my feet and getting back out there...I went into this self exile. I just stayed home in my apartment for years and did not do a damn thing. That's where most of my weight gain came from. I was not active. I stayed locked up in my home and didn't come out, unless it was to pick of Lisa from work or if we were going to do something in town. Then when our place got robbed, twice in 2 years (the second time being the worst one because they completely cleaned me out of all my expensive stuff and it happened in the middle of the day on a weekend, yet nobody saw anything "apparently") my anger just got worse. I let everything get to me. My weight increased and I began to try and hide myself by wearing a tshirt, sweater, and carrying a jacket over my shoulder. I was so scared of being seen, yet I don't know why. My mind was just so paranoid. So instead of exercising, which is what I should've done, I just fell more into my bad thoughts. Around 2010 I finally snapped out of it and decided to quit hiding, so I came out. I showed everyone who I really was and what I looked like. I started to exercise. Then, we moved out of the apartment in town and moved onto my land just outside of town. I moved my trailer, which my parents had given me, onto my land and fixed it up. For that first year, I spent it getting everything hooked up. I still hadn't gone back to work. I was still scared. Well I began to exercise off and on. I really thought I would've done great because over here there is so much privacy. Well apparently, I didn't! I ended up putting on more weight because after that first year, I noticed that the clothes that I was wearing at the apartment wouldn't fit me anymore. That made me even more depressed. Then I had so many bad experiences with women. One, a former teacher, who after meeting, called me "physically unattractive" and said many many bad things about me. She was someone I had a crush on since I was a kid and she wasn't even that attractive, but she tore me down bad and never talked to me again. That really hit me and made me worse, but honestly I think it was good that I was getting out there and trying, rather than hiding in my shell like I did all those years back at the apartment. All leading up to April 28, 2014 when I went to the doctors because of a lump in my stomach, then them telling me I weighed 360 pounds. Since that day, I started Fyrescape which is a Journey to Better Everything. Anyway, I've learned so much about everything: exercise, mentality, the things that bring me down, the things I've let get to me, my mental sensitivity, along with weight and how it fluctuates. It's been a great journey thus far!

The point of this is, today I was out on my walk and I realized that so many things have brought me down. I decided to be one way in my life from this point on, and that is to be unique. When I was in high school, I was never part of any clique. I did not have a certain crowd I ran with. Instead, I danced around everyone. I had friends from many different groups. I was my own person, on my own pane. That was what really made me stand out, I believe. I was nice to everyone and always kept my cool. I wasn't a troublemaker or someone who was rude to ppl. Over the years, I lost that part of myself and by that I mean, I felt I wasn't good enough for anything. Well that is not true and I know that now for sure. I've lost a lot of weight since last April, regardless of what that stupid scale says. My body feels great and I'm able to do things now that I never could before. I've also conquered all the craziness that goes on in my head. I don't let things get me down anymore. I'm no longer paranoid about everything. I still make mistakes though, I'm not perfect and I never will be, but I have the tools to be a unicorn. Something unique and that's how I'm going to live my life from now on. I want to do great things with my life, but things that I decide are great, not what the world or anyone wants me to do. Self ambitions and happiness, that's what I'm shooting for. Before I always wanted to please everyone. I would put off things for myself just because I didn't want to make anyone else angry or upset. There's nothing wrong with that, but it allows ppl to take advantage of you, which is what happened to me. My family does that and the women I've met have done it as well. It's not good to be that way. Be nice, courteous, but never weak. Stand up for yourself and do what is best for YOU! Never dull yourself down to please other ppl because then you're letting down the most important person, which is Yourself. That can cause all kinds of chaos in your life, as it did mine.

So from now on, I'm going to be that unicorn. Something rare and unique. Something that I've made and will continue to make myself into everyday, with God's help and blessings. Everything I am, I accredit God. He has taught me everything and showed me everything I need to know to make it in this life. All that I have learned during Fyrescape, was shown to me by Him. That is the most important thing that anyone who reads my blogs can get from them, to Always and Forever, trust in our Heavenly Father. Trust in God, everyday of your life!

Day Three Hundred Fifty Nine

Did my 3 miles this morning!

Came back and finally got in my Bowflex workout! Did 2 sets of every exercise. Then I did some work on the Ab Lounge, and finally finishing it off with 22 minutes on the exercise bike. I hit 22 minutes today!! That'll be my goal from now on.

I'm just glad and happy that throughout this entire year of Fyrescape, I never gave up! I was constantly out there workin hard. Regardless of whether I cut my walks down to only 3 miles between October and January. I still did it! I didn't quit. That is the important thing here. In just 6 days, my year of Fyrescape will be over. One whole year, I can't believe it. Amazing!