HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!!!!!! 33 years old...dang, has it been that long??!! Oh well, it's been an Awesome buncha years, let me tell you. I've been thru just about everything so I know that when I do have kids one day, I'll know exactly what to teach them and how to teach them. I'm glad I held off on that part of my life. Came close once, many years ago when I was young and stupid, but thankfully God pulled me out of that situation.
Well I gotta be honest, today was a really bad day! It ended on a good note, which is why I'm in an upbeat mood now, but the day itself was pretty bad. I Did Not get my new truck, let me get that out of the way! It's still sad to say but apparently it was all a HUGE misunderstanding. I took a Rest Day today because I didn't want to spend my birthday out there in the hot sun. I wanted to sleep in a bit, then just get right to the fun stuff. Well, I slept until 7:30am, which to me is sleeping in. Everyday I wake up at 5:30 so I can get my walk done before it gets too hot. Anyway, Dad came by and picked up me and Lisa. That got me even more excited about the truck. I figured we'd go out and eat, then he was going to take me back to Kirtland to pick up that truck. I was so excited this morning I couldn't think. Well, that did not last because on the way to the restaurant, ihop, he was telling me about other trucks he was looking at. He then dropped the bomb on me that "when you do get a new truck, make sure it's got good mileage on it and blah blah blah," in other words indicating that he's NOT getting me that truck! Yeah, I was devastated!!! I was so so so devastated. I felt like that little kid all over again who's parents broke a promise to him. It was crazy and on my 33rd birthday for crying out loud. So I did not enjoy breakfast. I was mad the whole time and I probably showed it too. I was hurt, heartbroken and angry. Typical feelings when someone makes you believe you're going to get a new ride, goes with you to test drive the damn thing, then talks like they're going to help you get it. That's exactly what my Dad did. He made me believe I was getting that truck. So by this point, I totally blamed my Mom. I knew she was the one who changed his mind. My Mom had a bad rep for doing that all the time. When it's my little brother, man she thinks the world of him and would do Anything and Everything for him. But me or my sister, we're just second rate packages to her. Or atleast that's how she's made us feel over the years. Anyway, that was how I was feeling. I was just blaming her for ruining my birthday wish. So the whole day I was mad! I was so down in the dumps, it was embarassing. Lisa tried so hard to get me out of it. For a while I did. She took me to the casino and I played some slot machines, just to try and get my mind off of things. I didn't win anything, which made those feelings somewhat worse, but at the same time I had fun so that really helped. We went home after that and she kept trying. I love my best friend so much because she tried so hard. Now, I feel so so so so so bad, but earlier I didn't know. Anyway she began to feel anger toward my parents as well because they made me feel like I was getting that truck, then they just take it away like that and don't even say anything. She was getting really defensive for me. Turns out, she had planned a surprise Birthday dinner for me. She was working with my mom and she planned on cooking me steak and iniviting everyone over. She ended up telling me that early on and said that because of how I was feeling, she was willing to cancel it. Being the angry person I was at the time, I told her to go ahead and cancel it only because I was feeling so down and angry, I sure didn't want to put on a fake smile in front of my parents that night and act like everything was ok. So, she cancelled it. My Mom wasn't too happy about that. She texted Lisa. I asked Lisa what that text was and she told me it was bad. She told me that my Mom was saying awful things to her and that she was really mad. So I got really angry and told Lisa to text her back and say something back to her. She did. Then my mom got even more angry and said more awful things to her. That's when I lost it and intervened. I texted my mom and told her to buzz off basically and that I choose what I want and don't want, NOT HER! I was so mad. Well, after that I shut my phone off. By this time, it was heading toward evening. The day was ruined. I was mad, upset, hurt, frustrated, and on the verge of flipping out! Some birthday, huh?! And all because of a truck, I couldn't believe it. Well Lisa took me to eat at the new Texas Roadhouse restaurant in the mall. It was good, but I just was not really into it. I was so angry and it showed really bad. Lisa and I got into an argument and I ended up making her cry. I felt so bad. Well it ended up spiraling downward to even worse levels after the restaurant. As the sun was starting to set, Lisa and I just sat in the living room staring at the floor, wondering how the hell the day, My Day, got away from us and turned out as bad as it did. I asked her again what my Mom said to her in that first text, the one that started this crazy argument. She read it to me word for word. Omgosh, apparently it was NOTHING like Lisa told me it was. She made it sound like my Mom was really mad and giving lots of attitude and I couldn't believe how bad she was. That's why I got mad and told Lisa to text her back. Well my Mom's text was very understanding. She was a bit upset that they had planned my dinner for about a week, only to have it canceled. She didn't like that but she was willing to still have it. I don't know where Lisa got the idea that she was angry. I was very upset with Lisa for taking that text wrong then reacting on it, BUT I in now way whatsoever, blamed Lisa for any of this. This was All me! Lisa was just getting defensive over me because of how I was acting all day so none of anything was her fault. It was all mine, or so I thought. I had Lisa call my mom and explain everything to her. My Mom forgave her and everything settled down. Lisa explained that she was defensive and that she took her text wrong, then told me about the text but in her words and how she understood it, which is why I got mad. So anyway, after that was settled, I called my Mom. She and I talked it out and I told her that Lisa explained everything to me wrong and that it was all a HUGE misunderstanding. Then, I dropped the news on her about how my Dad made me feel about getting that truck. She was not happy about that! She told me she was really sorry for how Dad made me feel. She said that apparently he told her that him and I were "just looking." I told her that is not how he made me feel and that's certainly not how he played it all out. I told her that he really made me feel like he was going to get me that truck so I was anticipating it for the last 2 days but then all the sudden he changes his tune and acts like it's no big deal. I told her that really devastated me! She understood. She said that it was very wrong of him to do that but also that she did not have any idea that's what was going on. She said he didn't explain it to her like that. She apologized for him and said that if she had known all that, she would've made him call me and let me know 2 days ago. She felt kinda bad about it. That's when I really felt like an ass!!! Because this whole time I was blaming my mom, she had nothing to do with any of it. It was my Dad, this entire time. He made me think I was getting that truck, but then he tells my mom we were "just looking." So yeah, that is how this crazy day got away from me! One Big Huge Misunderstanding!!!
My mom still invited both Lisa and I over to eat at her place, so we did. Lisa felt so bad and she was really crying. I felt so shitty about everything. I kept telling her that it wasn't her fault and that it was my fault for not knowing that none of this was supposed to happen. She was feeling really bad. I took the blame for it all though. I messed up my birthday. I really screwed it up big time. I should've just maned up and got over it! I can buy my own truck one day soon. I could start saving up now and buy it on my birthday next year, or for Christmas. Who knows! It'll be soon enough though and I was wrong to waste this day with sorrow and anger.
So we went to mom's. I hugged my parents and told them I was sorry and that everything was a big misunderstanding. Lisa did the same, but it took her a while to really get over the day. She was still crying and trying to keep it together. My mom kept telling her that it was ok and to let it go. My grandparents were both there. It was nice to visit with them for a bit. They all wished me Happy Birthday! I still loved my grandparents card and gifts. I was just so glad to see them both on my birthday. My mom and dad bought me a Blue-Ray DVD player, which was Awesome! They also gave me some movie theater gift tickets so I'm really looking forward to that. All in all, it was a meal and it ended my crazy day on a good note. I want next year to be Better, one of the Best days Ever!!! I hope God blesses me with another wonderful year. I know that being as how I'm on Fyrescape, next year I'll defintely be in the best shape of my life. I'm looking forward to that!
So now I'm happy knowing that things are settled with my family and that Lisa is now better. I feel so bad for what she went thru today. I'm going to try and make it up to her and everyone. I'll throw something together soon, hopefully. For now, I'm going to bed. Got get back at it tomorrow. I'm going to try and keep up 6 miles every morning this upcoming week. I took too many 3 mile days this past one. Lookin forward to another Great year! Goodnight ;)
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