No exercise today. Bad day. I was invited to lunch at my parents place, by my dad. Went over there and everyone was normal, which was a surprise given how my mom and dad have been ignoring me the last month almost, since that whole incident with my sister last month. We have not talked much. So I go over there. Dad and my brother are watching football. I say hi to them, then to my mom. I sit in the kitchen by myself. Then my sister shows up. Apparently, they're throwing a birthday dinner for her...that's why I was invited. Basically so they could feel like a normal family. My dad got an elk on his first day. I was very surprised. He went on the day I was really sick, last Tuesday. The day his hunt started, on Wednesday, he got one and came home on Thursday morning. They spend the whole time just kissing my sisters ass. Telling her this and that, acting so happy to see her. Completely ignoring the fact that she once again ran off and let the family down....again. So I assume that things are back to normal. After lunch, I try to talk to my mom. I tell her that I wrote to our Pastor and suggested some things to him on how he should act with the church and his plan of change because some of our members were getting afraid he was turning into the crazy "pastor" we had before that almost stole our church away from us. I just made some friendly suggestions. She shows me attitude and argues with me. No support whatsoever and she's still giving me hostility that I've been getting ever since last month. Before this, I tried telling her about my pellet stove situation and that it was actually my grandpa who messed it up. She didn't seem to buy it, nor did she seem to give a shit. She wouldn't even look at me. After telling her about pastor and getting that reaction, I decided that I was done! I went thru this last year when i tried telling her that the pastor was crazy and we needed to get rid of him. She didn't listen. Then, when he kicked everyone out, she finally opened her eyes, but she still did not acknowledge that I had told her two months prior. She just acted like it was something SHE discovered. Well, she's till giving me that non-supporting attitude and it's really messing with my life. It's distracting me from church. It's making me angry. So I made the decision to resign from my church! I text everyone tonight and told them. My mom didn't give a shit, of course. But the other church members were concerned, especially my grandma. It was nice to see happy feelings and things said about me. Nothing from my careless mom though. Yeah, she bought me a pellet stove, but you know what, my love trust and respect can't be bought! Just because you buy something for someone, doesn't mean you have the right to treat them like shit. I mean, I have been a loyal son. I have been loyal to my family. I'm always willing to help out. I work in my church and make my family name really mean something. I do great things there. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs. I'm very caring and I look after everyone. I put others before myself. I sacrifice. I help anyone I can all the time. I'm reliable and I never give anyone attitude. I'm very respectful to everyone. All that and my own mom doesn't show me appreciation. She never says Thank You. She never once told me she was proud of me from her own mouth. Nothing! She calls me a bum, just because I don't have a job paying me $150,000 a year and a big fancy College Degree hanging on my wall. She has nothing to brag to her friends about because of that. No but my sister, she turns lesbian, drinks, lets the family down numerous times, breaks her promises, and runs off for weeks, months at a time with no word whatsoever, she gets a big birthday dinner. I do one thing apparently wrong like stand up for my family by telling my sister that she really let them down, and I get ignored for an entire month and I get disrespected and I don't get any support. Well you can't buy my love so she can take her damn pellet stove back if she wants. I AM NEVER GOING TO JUST LET THIS GO!!!
So yes, today was a bad day. Because of my uncaring, ungrateful and unsupporting mom, I left my church. No matter what is said about me, I left because of HER. But I am never walking away from God. Lisa is coming with me too. She is the most supportive and wonderful friend I have ever had. We are going to find another church where my mom is not and hopefully I can continue my work and meet new ppl who are supportive. I am looking forward to that!
Goodnight!
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