Day Three Hundred Six

Today was a scary day!

It snowed like crazy but I still went out and did 3 miles with Lisa. The walk took a while, though. It was really snowing and coming down hard. We bundled up and headed out with Cody and Cooper. Usually the walk takes about an hour and ten minutes. This time, it took almost two hours. It was muddy and slippery out there, plus it was cold as heck, but we got it done!

Now comes the scary part of the day. We headed up town and got groceries, then picked up some wood pellets at Home Depot. On our way home, to support the church, they had a Navajo Taco sale to help their building fund so we ordered two of them. We stopped by and picked them up. The Pastor came out to the truck soon as I got there. Lees went inside to get the food. Pastor came and talked to me for a long time, basically getting after me for leaving the church. That guy does not listen though. He thinks I walked away from God. I can't believe he said that to Lisa and I. We tried telling him we didn't do that, but as always he didn't listen and just talked over us. He tried telling me to come back tomorrow for church service...but it's not happening. A few nice words ain't going to change my mind. When I see that guy isn't trying to turn the church into one of his Louisiana black churches that you see on the movies, then I'll consider going back. So I am not changing my decision. He's gonna have to learn that! He thinks he knows me, but he doesn't!

I was feeling kinda cruddy about myself today, thinking I wasn't doing good in my exercising. Well to ease my mind, I've been really hitting this weight loss thing hard these past few weeks, plus I've been drinking my gallon of water everyday for a while now. So I was pretty confident in my weight loss. I wasn't planning on checking my weight until April, but because of how I was feeling, I went ahead and checked it, thinking that the weight I lost in the past 2 months would make me feel better. So I brought in my scale to the kitchen and stood on it....it said 338 :O OMG WTF!!! I gained 4 more pounds since I checked my weight last month and it said 334. That was before I started drinking my gallon of water per day and that was before I started pushing my exercises really hardcore. Since then I have been powerwalking my 3 miles. I've been lifting weights, doing lots of dead lifts and jump roping. Everyday I've been downing my gallon of water. Some days my legs are so damn sore and tired, I can barely walk. So I can NOT BELIEVE I GAINED WEIGHT!!! It makes NO SENSE! I was so scared. I didn't know what the hell I was going to do or what I needed to do. I felt like giving up. I felt cursed. I thought that there was no way I was ever going to lose weight again and I almost just gave up, for real. I text Lisa and told her, she didn't believe I put on fat or got bigger. She said right away that it was muscle. I didn't believe her, of course. But I researched it online. One thing I found was that when you first start hydrating yourself (drinking lots of water) your body will retain lots of that water. Your cells will absorb that water and make you gain water weight. Yeah sounds like ppl when they make excuses for their weight gain right? Well I truly believe that is what's going on with me. There is just no way I got fat again. I've lost so much weight in the last year now that I can't be putting it on. My eating is not bad. Since I started my hardcore exercise again, I've reverted back to my diet that I was on last summer. I been eating salads, chicken, turkey, veggies, and I've pretty much cut all the diet soda out and replaced it with water. I've drank so much water in the past several weeks now. It's the first time in my life I've done this so it was just so damn confusing how I put on weight. One thing the dieticians out there said online was to not measure your weight loss by the scales. Your weight can fluctuate and changes. The scales only measure body weight, not fat and muscle or body fat percentage. They said to NOT GIVE UP!! So after talking with Lisa and reading all this, I got my confidence back. I tried on all my clothes again to see if they didn't fit. Well guess what? All my clothes fit me just fine! Some I have more room than I did at the beginning of January. I'm going to measure by my clothes and I am not going to quit. Dammit, I'm going to push myself even harder from now on. Tomorrow is March 1st and I have two months left in my Fyrescape so freakin A I'm going to make those months count.

So that was my day! I am not ever going to quit. No matter what, I am determined to get my weight down to 200 pounds. That's my goal weight and I don't care how long it takes, I'm going to get there! That's really all I have to say for now. I finished my gallon of water this evening. I'm going to keep up with my gallon of water per day and I'm going to exercise constantly! I'm going to beat this, trust me. Fyrescape is going in to overkill mode tomorrow!!!